


Bridge Over Troubled Water

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Knotting, M/M, Mating, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Military Veteran Castiel (Supernatural), Nightmares, Omega Dean, Post Mpreg, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Prostitute Dean Winchester, Rutting, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: Castiel came back from the Viet Nam war injured and with PTSD. Advised by his counselor that having an omega with him could help his recurring nightmares, he makes Dean, a street hooker, an offer to move in with him. Wary,Dean can't turn down the money.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 234
Kudos: 467





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is completed. I'll post a new chapter every day.  
> Many thanks to my beta, katelyndeveraux, and my editor, banshee!

“You need to prepare yourself, Corporal. It ain’t pretty out there.”

Castiel sighed. He grabbed his cane and walked to the back of the military transport that had brought him back to the states. He’d been told about the protests, how much people hated the war. He agreed with them, frankly. 

When the lift lowered him and the three other soldiers to the tarmac, he looked around. A crowd of people had formed with signs that said, “Baby killer!” and “Murderer!” on them. He didn’t look anymore;he just kept his eyes down and followed the guy in front of him.

The MPs were doing their best to hold the throng of protesters back, but one woman got close enough to spit on him. He looked at the glob on his chest,, not bothering to wipe it away. He didn’t exactly disagree with the protesters - he felt like a murderer.

Reaching the car, he climbed in behind the guy he’d been following and swung the door shut. The guy, a private assigned to escort him, grabbed a tissue and wiped the spittle away.

‘“Sorry, Corporal.”

Castiel didn’t look at him. “It’s fine.”

His leg hurt like a bitch. 

He just wanted to be home. It wasn’t very far from Brewster Airport, where he’d landed, thank God. Gabriel would be waiting for him.

Gabe was getting the house ready for him, would see him get settled, then he would go back to Kansas City. And then, finally, Castiel could be alone.

He hadn’t been alone since he was drafted into the Army. First there was training, then Vietnam, surrounded by Alphas like him who didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to kill anyone, but who had to just to survive. 

Then, after… He’d been in the field hospital for weeks, then shipped home to be in another hospital for months. Always surrounded by other people. Nurses, doctors, psychiatrists… he was just longing for solitude, for silence. 

He stared indifferently out the window.

When the car pulled into his driveway, he saw the curtains move. Gabe. Sure enough, the front door opened as the car rolled to a stop. 

The private jumped out, heading around the back of the car to open his door. Castiel grabbed his cane and stepped out carefully, favoring his injured leg. He stood for a moment, taking in the house, then walked over to meet Gabe.

Gabriel was smiling, arms reaching toward Castiel and pulling him in. “Hello, baby bro,”

Castiel allowed the hug. “Hello, Gabe.” Gabriel released him with a squeeze to the shoulder and led him inside.

The private retrieved his luggage from the car and followed them inside, setting them down just inside the door. Castiel turned to face him.

The private snapped to attention. “Yes, sir. Anything else I can do for you, sir?”

“Thank you. That will be all.” He wished he could remember the guy’s name.

As the car drove away, Gabe grabbed his suitcases and took them to the bedroom. Castiel sat on the couch, wincing. The ache in his leg was deafening.

He realized Gabe was standing next to the couch and had been saying something.

“What? Sorry I was just…”

Gabe held up a hand. “I was just asking if you were hungry. Got a fully stocked kitchen, I could make a sandwich or something.”

Castiel tried a smile. It felt foreign. “I’m fine, thanks Gabe. It’s a long drive back to Kansas City. You should probably get on the road.”

Gabriel’s mouth thinned with concern. “Are you sure, Cas? I can stay a couple of days…”

Castiel got up, steeling his face to not show the pain it caused. “I’m fine, Gabe. Thank you for getting the place set up. But Kali will be missing you.”

“I can stay, Cas.”

“I said I’m fine. Go home to your mate. I’ll call if I need anything.”

He stood in the doorway, watching his brother drive away. Leaving the keys Gabe had handed to him on a table by the door, he went for a tour of the house. Being back felt both strange and oddly familiar. He’d bought the place with his share of the money his father left them in his will, and had just moved in when he got his draft notice, so it had been sitting empty for almost three years. 

He remembered how happy he’d been when he got it, purposely getting the three bedrooms because he felt like he was finally free. He would find a mate, raise pups in this house. He’d been young, and optimistic… and stupid.

The Army and the war made him grow up fast. 

And now he was just a broken husk of a man. Now he was the Alpha who jumped under a table at the sound of a car backfiring. And now he was lame. 

They had wanted to cut off his leg, but he wouldn’t have it. It had taken three surgeries and months of physical therapy to get him to this point. It would never get any better.

He fished his bottle of pain pills out of one of his bags, and poured himself a finger of the scotch Gabe had left for him. Swallowing the pill, he decided to shower.

He went back to the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, he pulled out some clean clothes to wear, choosing old, soft sweats and a T-shirt, and didn’t bother with underwear. He took off his shoes and undressed, draping his uniform across the bed. Grabbing a towel, he walked naked to the bathroom.

He frowned at the bar Gabe had installed, and at the shower bench. Gabe had obviously talked to his doctor at some point. Reaching into the shower, he turned the water on and waited for it to heat up.

He knew he needed the aids, but they were a stark reminder of his inability to do something as simple as shower without help.

He grabbed the bar and heaved himself onto the bench and sat there for a minute, letting the hot water flow over his body, staring at the long scars running down his thigh and around his knee. Shaking his head, he washed his body and his hair, just wanting to get it over with and back into clothes.

When he was out of the shower and dressed, he made his way slowly back to the living room and sat in front of the TV for the rest of the evening, flipping channels and getting drunk.

This? This was his life now, and he needed to get used to it.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean Winchester didn’t give a flying fuck about the war. He was an omega and they didn’t draft omegas. Of course, they could volunteer, but Dean wasn’t the volunteering type either. He was just trying to get by.

At the moment, he was trying to get by without the services of one Fergus Crowley. Crowley was a pimp, who’d been after Dean for a while now. Dean didn’t need a pimp.

He was a hooker, sure, but he didn’t need any damn pimp taking his money and turning him out to any swinging dick. Dean Winchester could find his own swinging dicks just fine, thanks.

Dean hadn’t had an easy life. The only breaks he caught were the bones broken by Alpha johns when they got too rough, or the ones his father broke when he presented as an omega.

His father was never going to win an award for father of the year. Ever since Dean’s mother died in a house fire when Dean was four and his brother was just a baby, John Winchester never got over it. He had been one angry dude. He drank too much, stayed away for days, sometimes weeks at a time. All he ever said to Dean was, “Watch your little brother, boy.”

Dean sometimes wondered if being a mother to Sammy had anything to do with him presenting as an omega, but of course, that was ridiculous. 

At any rate, John was now dead, having wrapped his truck around a tree while driving drunk, and Sam was in college. Dean still took care of him, his time by sending him money. So what if it meant Dean had to live in his car? His car was awesome. The only good thing in his life.

The one thing he tried to do was to know where every phone booth in town was. He called Sam once a week. 

He didn’t have many regulars, and that was more than fine with him. The three ones he did have were each their own hell.

Alistair was the worst. Every time he got with that Alpha, he couldn’t work for a week after. He charged him accordingly, and Alistair always tipped him on top of it. Dean guessed it was worth it. He always ended up bruised, with bite marks all over and his ass too sore to work, even if he didn’t look like he’d been attacked by a bear.

Michael liked to tie him up. Dean didn’t particularly mind, but Michael liked it rough. Not as rough as Alistair, but Dean learned the hard way not to go to Michael when he was in rut.

And then there was Gordon. He was a kinky bastard. Gordon liked to piss on him, use huge toys in him, but he never fucked Dean. He preferred to jack off and come on Dean’s face. He only called once a month, always on the thirteen of the month. Dean had no idea why, and never asked.

Other than those three, it was definitely catch as catch can. Dean hung out in bars mostly, always on the lookout for new blood. If they sprang for a motel room it was always good. 

If they just wanted to fuck in the bathroom or the alley, Dean had a strict ‘no knot’ policy. He wasn’t about to get stuck on some stranger’s knot in an uncomfortable position, let alone in a place where the cops could see him.

The cops were the worst. They never arrested the Alphas. They usually just took him somewhere and fucked him, telling him how lucky he was to not be going to jail. 

Another thing Dean learned the hard way was to always get the money upfront. He’d gotten burned a few times in the beginning, when he was still just a stupid teen twink, too scrawny to defend himself. The Alphas just laughed at him, telling him he wasn’t good enough to pay for. Now he could hold his own in a fight, and he always got the money first.

Today, he was going to his friend Benny’s place for a shower. Benny had a mate who didn’t like him, so he could only get a shower when she was at work. Benny was a beta, and he’d befriended Dean a couple of years ago. Benny came into an alley when two Alphas were beating him up. Benny was a big ol’ Cajun, who literally whipped their asses for them. They’d been friends ever since. Benny didn’t judge him.

Castiel had been holed up in his house for two weeks. He’d stayed drunk most of that time, but eventually, his lack of exercise was making his leg hurt a lot, and he was running low on pain pills. He knew the VA in California had sent his medical records to the VA clinic here in Lawrence, and like it or not, he was going to have to go in.

So he had made an appointment. The morning of, he was drinking coffee and wondering if he should eat something, but decided against it. He showered, dressed and called for a cab.

The cab stopped in front of the clinic, and Castiel got out with a grunt and a sigh. Leaning heavily on his cane, he went inside and registered. He sat down, feeling defensive, knowing that the doc was going to lecture him. He didn’t need anyone to tell him he was fucking up, he already knew that. But it was his life to fuck over.

Dr. Ellen Harvelle was not what he expected. She was a beta, bawdy, funny and very down to earth. Completely different from the doctors in California. He was completely honest with her. 

She told him he needed to start walking more, which he already knew. She also told him to stop taking the pain pills with booze, stating, “I don’t want to have to go and identify your body because you overdosed, and there isn’t anyone else who knows what you look like. Either drink or take the pills, not both at the same time.”

Castiel really didn’t have anything to say to that.

“Now, there is a PTSD group here that meets every Wednesday at eight. I want you to come to a meeting.” When Castiel started to say something, she held up her hand to stop him.

“Just come once. I know you had groups like this in Cali, but this one is different. Just give it a try. If you really hate it, you don’t have to come back.”

Castiel reluctantly agreed. She sent him off with a new prescription for pain pills and an appointment for the next month.

He took a cab to the pharmacy, got his script filled and then went home. By the time he got there, his leg was screaming at him. He took a pill with a shot of whiskey. What Ellen didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and it did Castiel a lot of good.

The next day was Wednesday. Castiel regretted agreeing to go to the group all day, but his fear of Ellen’s wrath overrode the regret. He got ready to go, not drinking because he was sure if he showed up drunk, Ellen wouldn’t like that either. He popped a pill, called a cab and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, I was up late, so figured I might as well go ahead and post the next chapter...

Sure enough, Ellen was standing just inside the front door, and smiled when she saw him.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Castiel smiled too. “I had to. You scare me.”

Ellen laughed. “Wow, handsome  _ and  _ smart. Come on.”

She led him to a room with a couple of couches, some chairs and a table along the wall with a coffee maker, styrofoam cups and a box of cookies. There were three men sitting here and there, and a happy-looking Alpha woman Ellen introduced as Donna.

Donna hugged him, and he tolerated it.

“Castiel! Welcome.”

The three men were introduced as Bobby, Rufus and Ash. Both Bobby and Rufus were older. Bobby was in a wheelchair. Ash was a goofy-looking guy with a mullet. Castiel grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down.

Donna looked at Ash. “So, how is the hacking coming along?”

“Pretty damn good, if I say so myself. I managed to up my disability by a couple of hundred dollars without them catching on.”

Castiel was shocked to his core that something so illegal was so openly discussed.

Donna grinned. “That’s great! Maybe you can up these boys' allotments?”

Ash ginned. “I’ll give it a try. If I don’t make the next meeting, you’ll know I’m in Leavenworth.

Bobby snorted. “It’d serve you right, ya idjit.”

Donna turned her attention to him. “So, still drinking all day, old man?”

Bobby frowned. “What are you, my mother?”

“Jeez no! That’s a job I definitely wouldn’t want!” 

“Shuddup then.”

Rufus turned to him. “Why you always gotta be so surly?”

Bobby gaped at him. “ _ Me _ ? Surly? When was your last flashback?”

Rufus looked mortified. “Why you gotta bring that up? I told you, I heard gunfire!”

Bobby snorted. “It was a car backfiring. I know, I was there. I had to haul your sorry ass off the floor.”

“Like you could haul anyone anywhere, Ironsides.”

Castiel liked all of them.

Donna introduced him to the group. Castiel said hello, but that was all.

Ash grinned at him. “So, bum leg huh?”

Castiel nodded.

Donna broke in. “Castiel will talk when he feels like it.”

The rest of the meeting was spent discussing Rufus’ flashback. 

When the meeting was over, Castiel decided he’d come to another one. He was throwing his cup in the trash when Ash walked up.

“We usually go for a drink. Coming?”   
Castiel nodded. “I’d like that, thanks.”

It was just a short walk to the bar from the center. Ash offered to push Bobby. Bobby replied that if Ash laid one finger on his chair, he’d come back missing his damn hand.

They managed to make it to the bar. Once inside, they found a table, and Castiel offered to get the first round. He walked to the bar to order a pitcher.

While he waited, he noticed an omega at the end of the bar staring at him. He looked away, and when the pitcher was ready, he grabbed it and the glasses only to discover he couldn’t use his cane and carry everything. He was just getting ready to yell for Ash when the omega walked up to him.

Castiel was struck by how handsome he was. The omega smiled at him.

“Need a hand there, gorgeous?” 

Castiel nodded. “Uh, yeah, that would be very kind of you.”

The omega grabbed the pitcher. “Name’s Dean. Haven’t seen you in here before.”

Castiel kept his eyes down. “Just moved to town. It’s my first time here.”

“That explains it then.”

Dean carried the pitcher to the table and sat it down. Castiel sat the glasses down.

“Thank you, Dean.”

Dean smiled at him. “Anytime,” and with a wink, he walked away.

Rufus and Ash were grinning at him. 

Bobby was frowning. ”See you met the town whore.”

Castiel glanced back at Dean. “Whore?”

Ash laughed. “Yeah, Dean’s our local omega hooker.”

Castiel drank a majority of his beer in one gulp.

He stole glances at Dean occasionally, and every time he did, Dean was looking at him. Rufus noticed. 

“Guess he sees you as fresh meat, Cas.”

Cas blushed. “I… I don’t think so.”

Rufus grunted. 

When Castiel got home, he fell to the couch. His leg was hurting but he remembered what Ellen had told him about drinking and taking pills, so he decided to shower instead.

He sat on the bench, and letting the hot water run over his leg, his mind wandered to Dean.

What could have possibly made the omega choose to be a hooker? What combination of events in his life led him to sell himself? He couldn’t imagine it. But he also knew he needed to avoid Dean at all costs. He didn’t need drama in his life and he was sure Dean would bring drama with him wherever he went.

Dean was rinsing out his mouth after blowing the Alpha in the last stall of the bar bathroom. He looked into the mirror, and suddenly thought about that Alpha with the blue eyes. Cas. Now there was an Alpha Dean figured it would be fun to ride. He hoped he got the chance.

It was late and the bar was closing, so he headed for his car and slid into the back seat, grabbing his blanket from the floorboard. Pulling the blanket up, he curled into a ball and muttered, just like every other night, “Just you and me, baby.” 

Castiel woke up early. It had been really cold last night, prompting him to think he needed to buy more blankets. He wandered to the kitchen, only to discover he was out of coffee. Well, fuck. He got dressed and called a cab.

The cab let him off at the corner, just a short walk from the store. Looking down the street ahead of him, he was startled to see Dean crawling out of the back seat of a car, looking cold and shivering as he tugged on a jacket. 

Well, fuck. 

He walked up to Dean, who was busy folding a blanket and putting it in the car.

“Dean?”

Dean jumped a little, twirled about to look at Castiel. ”Jesus! Don’t sneak up on a guy like that! You need to get a bell or something.”

“You look cold.”

Dean grunted. “Well yeah, it got colder than a witch’s tit last night.”

“You sleep in your car?”

Dean squinted suspiciously. “So what? It works for me.”

Castiel sighed and held up his hands. “Look, I’m not trying to start a fight. Would you like some coffee? Maybe some breakfast?”

Dean visibly relaxed. “I guess that would be okay… yeah.”

Castiel looked around. “Got any idea where?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, come on, it isn’t far.”

Castiel followed Dean, wondering if he was making a huge mistake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a brief description of one of Cas' flashbacks in this. If was bothers you, it's in italics so you can skip it.

It wasn’t far, just as Dean had said. They got a booth, ordered breakfast (eggs and toast for Castiel, pancakes and bacon for Dean) and sat with their coffee.

“So, why do you sleep in your car? Can’t you afford a place to live?”

Dean huffed. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

Castiel sighed. “That’s true, you don’t. But I was just wondering, maybe you should charge more?”

Dean gaped at him and then burst out laughing.

Castiel sat waiting for Dean to get himself under control.

“Man,” Dean wiped his eyes, “You are a hoot. Charge more… how does five hundred for a hand job sound? Maybe a thousand for the privilege of knotting me?”

Castiel frowned. “I was only trying to help.”

Dean grinned at him. “Well thanks, pal, but I don’t need help.”

The waitress brought the bill and Castiel took it.

“I can pay for my own breakfast, Cas.”

Cas frowned at him. “I invited you, I should pay.”

Dean grinned again. “Like a date? Well, thanks, I had a great time.”

Castiel blushed. “Not like a date, Dean.”

“If you say so, pal.”

Cas paid, and they left, heading back to the store. Cas stopped as they arrived, and turned to Dean.

“I have some shopping to do.”

Dean nodded. “Sure, sure, I’ll just go… away.”

Castiel watched him walk back towards his car. Sighing, he turned and went into the store.

His shopping done, Cas stood at the curb, waiting patiently for his cab. Dean drove by, then pulled up to the curb in front of him.

“Give you a lift, handsome?”

Castiel glanced around nervously. “Uh, no thank you, I have a cab coming.”

“Oh come on. Why spend the money? I’ll take you for free.”

Castiel sighed. “Okay, thank you.”

Dean hopped out and helped Castiel place his bags in the back seat, then walked around to get in. Castiel settled in the car.

“Your car is really beautiful, Dean.”

Dean smiled as he ran a hand over the dash. “Thanks. She’s my baby.”

As Dean pulled into the driveway, he admired Castiel’s house.

“Nice place you got here, Cas.”

Cas smiled. “Thank you. It’s comfortable.”

Dean helped Cas carry the bags inside. He stood for a moment, taking in the living room. There were a couple of empty whiskey bottles on the coffee table. He followed Castiel into the kitchen and took note of the vodka bottle on the counter.

They sat the bags on the island, and Castiel offered Dean some coffee.

As they waited for the coffee to finish brewing, Dean sat at the island.

“So, what happened to your leg?”

Castiel shrugged, sighing. “Land mine.”

Dean winced. “Wow, sorry.”

“Shit happens.”

Dean chuckled ruefully. “Yeah. Yeah it does.”

Castiel poured them both a cup of coffee and took a seat next to Dean.

“So,” he starts hesitantly, “how did you end up being a…”

Dean grinned. “A whore? You can say it, Cas, I know what I am. And it’s a long story.”

Castiel threw him a puzzled look. “Didn’t you want to be something else? When you were young… what did you want to be when you grew up?”

Dean turned away, shrugging. “It’s stupid.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Dean took a sip of his coffee. “I wanted to be a singer. You know, have records, hear myself on the radio. Like I said, stupid.” 

Castiel smiled. “Maybe not. I’d like to hear you sing sometime.”

Dean shook his head, eyes downcast. “Nah, man, not gonna happen.”

Finishing his coffee, Dean stood up. “Well, thanks for the coffee. I’m gonna get going.”

Castiel stood up, walking him to the door. “Thank you for the ride. I guess I’ll see you around.”

Dean seemed like he was going to say something, but just nodded and left. Castiel started putting the rest of the groceries away, feeling a little sad.

The rest of his week passed slowly. He was trying to drink less, but there really wasn’t much else to do. He hated watching TV. He didn’t know (or really want to know) his neighbors, and he didn’t talk to people on the phone. He walked a little every day, but kept his head down. He realized he was looking forward to the meeting.

Monday night he woke up screaming from a dream he thankfully couldn’t remember, so sweaty he had to shower and change the sheets. He didn’t sleep any more that night. 

Tuesday night…

_ He was back in Quang Tin. Men were screaming all around him. .. his buddy Alphie was lying beside him, his eyes staring at nothing. Castiel looked at his chest, covered with so much blood... He ran to find some cover behind a building… only to come face to face with a Vietcong pointing a gun at him. The guy couldn’t be more than sixteen and looked scared to death. Castiel shot him… _

_ He looked around and everything was on fire… _

He woke up to someone screaming. He realized it was him. He got up and drank a lot of whiskey.

The first person he ran into at the next meeting was Ash.

“Man, you look like hammered crap. When was the last time you slept?”   
Castiel mumbled something about nightmares and took a seat.

Donna looked pointedly at him.

“Hey ya, Cas. Things not going so good right now?”

Castiel stared at the floor. “Having some trouble sleeping.”

All three of the men nodded. Rufus said, ‘Uh huh.”

Donna asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He declined.

Ash looked at him. “Dude. I been where you are. I get it. And the only advice I can give you is, get you someone to sleep with. I didn’t sleep for days before I met Pamela. Since she’s been in my bed, I practically never have nightmares anymore.”

Castiel frowned. “I have no desire to become sexually active.”

Bobby laughed. “Who said anything about sex, boy? Ash is talking sleeping.”

Castiel thought about that, but there was no one in his life.

That night at the bar, he looked for Dean, but there was no sign of him. He hoped Dean was alright.

He got good and drunk at the bar that night, and Ash called him a cab.

As the cab pulled up in front of his house, he paid and got out. Staggering towards the door, he almost fell over Dean sitting on his doorstep.

“Dean? Wha… what are you doing here?”

Dean grabbed his arm to steady him. “Got in a disagreement with a cop. Fucker towed my car. I was wondering…”

Castiel nodded. “Of course, Dean, come inside.”

When he got the light on, he was horrified to see Dean had a black eye, almost swollen shut, and a split lip.

“My god, Dean! What happened?”

Dean smiled a little then winced when it pulled on his lip. “Like I said, a little tussle with a cop.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An agreement is reached.

“Fuck, Dean. Let me get something for that lip.” Cas staggered to the bathroom, coming back with first aid supplies.

Dean grinned at him. “You are really drunk, Cas.”

Cas snarled, “So what? I’m an adult.”

Dean frowned. “Jeez, cranky much?”

Cas just growled as he poured some antiseptic on a gauze pad. He cupped Dean’s cheek and dabbed at the split.

Dean let out an ‘OW!” and tried to pull away. Castiel tightened his grip on Dean’s face.

“Don’t be a baby.”

Dean just frowned.

When he was done, he grabbed a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and handed them to Dean.

“Put this on your eye. I’ll be back.”

Dean pressed the bag to his eye. Castiel staggered away, leaning heavily on his cane. Dean was surprised he didn’t fall. Cas left him standing there, then returned with a blanket and a pillow. He tossed them on to couch.

“Tomorrow we’ll look into getting your car back. I’m going to bed.”

Dean walked to the couch and sat down with a sigh. He hated coming here, but without a place to sleep, he figured Cas was his best bet for the night. Anyone else would want a free fuck and he didn’t much feel like it. He stood up, put the pillow on one end of the couch, laid down and pulled the blanket over him. He held the peas to his eye and tried to sleep.

He was shocked awake on the tail end of a blood-curdling scream. He sat bolt upright, listening. 

Castiel was screaming. He ran to the bedroom door, knocking hard.

“Cas? Cas! What’s wrong?”

The only response he got was a moan. He yanked open the door.

Castiel was thrashing around, moaning. The sheets were twisted around him. He was drenched in sweat. Dean slowly approached the bed.

“Cas? Castiel… you’re having a nightmare. Uh, wake up?”

The sour scent coming from the Alpha was nauseating.

He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out a hand to shake Castiel.

Castiel grabbed his hand and sat up, eyes glazed. Dean was a little afraid Cas was going to hit him.

Instead, Cas’ eyes focused and he began to cry. Dean was horrified. Not knowing what else to do, he pulled Cas’ face into his throat. Cas took a tentative sniff, then pushed into Dean’s scent gland, sniffing deeply. His body slowly relaxed.

Dean patted Cas’ back. “Yeah, smell that, Cas. You’re safe here.”

Dean’s nose filled with a scent of raspberries and freshly tilled damp earth. It was intoxicating.

Castiel pulled away, looking confused and angry. “Dean… what are you doing?”

Dean sighed. “You were having a gnarly nightmare. I tried to wake you up. I just thought…”

Castiel looked mortified. “Scenting you would calm me. Well, it obviously worked. I’m very sorry. I just… it happens sometimes.”

Dean rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “It’s fine. My little brother used to have nightmares, scenting me always helped.”

Cas tilted his head. “Wouldn't that be your mother’s job?”

Dean looked at the wall behind Cas. “Yeah, well, our mother was dead.”

Seeing the look of sympathy that morphed over Cas’ face, he stood up.

“Look, you could use a shower. I’ll get a pot of coffee going.” 

He turned and left the room.

Castiel sniffed himself. Dean was right. He grabbed some underwear, a pair of sweats and a t- shirt and headed to the bathroom.

He was mildly surprised he didn’t have a worse hangover than he did, but he figured he had just sweated the worst out already.

He dried off and pulled on his clothes, then walked to the kitchen. Dean had his back turned, the radio was playing softly and Dean was singing along. Castiel stood and listened for a few moments. Dean had an amazing singing voice.

Dean turned around and jumped a little.

“Jesus! Don’t sneak up on a guy like that. I really need to get you that bell or somethin’...”

Castiel held up his hands. “Sorry.” He got them each a cup of coffee and they sat at the table.

“Dean, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to deal with… that.”

Dean sighed. “It’s fine. I have nightmares sometimes too.”

Castiel sipped his coffee, eyes focused down on the table.

“I have PTSD.”

Dean nodded. “I figured. It’s a bitch, I would imagine.”

Castiel chuckled. “It is.”

They drank their coffee, each lost in their own thoughts.

“Dean, how much do you make a week?”

Dean looked up at him. “Why? That’s none of your business.”

Castiel shook his head. “No, I know… it’s just… I have a business proposition for you.”

Dean looked amused. “A  _ business _ proposition? That’s what they’re calling it now?”

Castiel looked shocked. “What? No! Nothing like that. It’s not… sexual.”

Dean grinned. “Okay, so what is this proposition?”

Castiel took a deep breath. 

“Apparently, living alone is not good when someone has PTSD. We can be a danger to ourselves. You need a place to live. I need a companion. You already helped me. I was just thinking you could live here. I’d pay you. You could help me by taking me places, being here at night if I need you. We just need to work out how much you need.”

Dean looked at him, thinking.

“And no sex?”

Castiel nodded.”That’s right, this is strictly non-sexual.”

“And we’ll get my car back, right?”

“Of course.”

Dean sat back to think about what Cas was saying. There were definitely more pros than cons to the arrangement, but Dean wondered just how much Cas could afford to pay him. He needed to support Sam, after all.

“Look, Cas. I’m not sure how much you can afford…”

Castiel held up a hand. “Let me worry about that. Just give me a number.”

Dean did some quick addition in his head. “I couldn’t do it for less than five hundred a month.”

He expected Cas to laugh, but Cas nodded.

“Done.”

“Really? You got that kind of money? What are you, some richey-rich or something?”

Castiel smiled. “I get disability from the army. Plus I have a little left from the inheritance I got when my parents died. Most of that went to buying this house, but I have some left.”

Dean absorbed this information. 

“So, your folks are dead?”

Castiel nodded.

“Mine too.”

Castiel sighed. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t be, Cas. My mom died when I was only four, and my old man? Not much to miss about him. I’m sorry your folks are dead.”

Castiel sighed. “I’m not. They were horrible people.”

Dean chuckled. “Okay, so can we get my car now?”

Castiel smiled. “Not sure they’re open this early. How about some breakfast first?”


	6. Chapter 6

After breakfast, they got dressed and Castiel called a cab. They headed to the police station, where Castiel paid the fines on the car, then they walked to the impound lot.

Castiel showed the officer the paperwork, then they found Baby.

Her headlights had been smashed, along with her side view mirror. 

Dean began to swear, walking around his beloved car. Castiel just stood and watched.

“Fucking  _ pigs _ ! He just did this out of spite! God  _ damn  _ it!” 

Dean turned and yelled, “You’re all a bunch of fucking pigs!”

An officer walked up, clearly an Alpha. “Something wrong, whore?”

Dean’s face was full of fury. “You did this!”

The officer smiled. “So what if I did? What are you going to do about it? You’re nothing but a hole for sale.”

Castiel stepped up. “I’ll thank you not to talk to him like that.”

The officer, whose name was Ketch, judging by his name badge, laughed in Castiel’s face.

“I don’t know who you are, but sticking up for the whore isn’t exactly going to make you any friends.”

Castiel stood up to his full height. “My name is Corporal Castiel J. Novak, and I’m Dean’s employer, Officer Ketch. If you leave immediately, I’ll consider not reporting you to your superiors and asking that Dean be compensated for the damage to his car.”

Ketch opened his mouth and shut it again. He turned and left, muttering under his breath.

Dean was grinning. “Cas, that was awesome!”

Castiel was still irritated.

They got in the car and Dean drove them home.

_ Home _ . It was a weird feeling for Dean. He hadn’t actually had a home since he was four. Since the house burned down, killing his mother. His dad didn’t do very well after that. 

But now? He could call Cas’ house his home, for as long as it lasted. He hoped it lasted at least a month. He could really use a month off, without worrying about how much money he had to send to Sammy.

When they got there, Dean hauled his clothes out of the trunk and took them inside, piling them on top of the washer. He couldn’t believe he could actually wash his clothes.

Castiel walked up behind him. 

“So, we need to get the car fixed.”

Dean nodded. “I can do it, but I’m gonna need the parts.”

Castiel smiled. “Well, how much will they cost?”

Dean did some calculations in his head. “I figure about sixty oughta do it.”

He watched Cas pull out his wallet, peeling off four twenties, then handing them to Dean.

“Go get the parts. I’ll start the wash and get lunch ready.”

Dean was blown away. The mere fact that Cas seemed to trust him… He didn’t know what to do with that. He drove to the parts store, irritated every time he had to crane his neck because his side view mirror was gone. By the time he got back, he was in a foul mood.

He pulled Baby into the driveway, got out, and got out the parts. He started on the side view mirror.

He was just finishing putting the new one on when Castiel opened the kitchen door.

“Lunch is ready. Come eat and take a break.”

Dean wiped his hands on a rag, threw it down and headed inside. He washed his hands at the 

kitchen sink, then sat down to a plate with some kind of sandwich, some chips and a beer.

Dean bit into the beef and cheddar sandwich and it was so good, he moaned. He glanced at Cas, embarrassed, but Cas was just smiling at him. 

He ate the rest of his lunch in silence. 

When he was done, he put his plate in the sink. Castiel came up behind him.

“I hung up your clothes in the hall closet, I hope that’s okay. I folded your underwear and put them in a box underneath that.”

Dean smiled at him. “That’s fine, Cas, thanks.”

They stared at each other for longer than necessary. Dean began to get uncomfortable.

“Well, I better get those headlights replaced…” He practically ran out the door.

He grabbed the new headlight and stood, leaning against the car.

_ Why was Cas being so nice? What does he want… no one is that nice, especially to a street whore. Fuck… _

He took a deep breath and got to work. He took his time, wanting to drag it out as long as possible before going back inside. When he was done, and there really wasn’t anything left to do, Castiel appeared holding a beer.

“Thought you could use this. You were working very hard.”

Dean took the beer, popped the top and drank a long swallow. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Castiel watched him, licking his lips.

“Thanks, Cas, really hits the spot.“

Again, they stood, staring at each other. This time it was Castiel that broke away.

“Dinner will be ready in an hour. You can get a shower if you want.”

That sounded good. Dean went in, found the coat closet where his clothes were, and chose some boxers, a pair of sweats and a soft T-shirt. He went to the bathroom and found a clean towel waiting for him on the counter.

Dean looked at the shower bench for a minute, then just took it out of the shower and put it in the corner. He got in, letting the hot water run down his back. He considered jacking off, but decided not to. He washed, shampooed with some girly-smelling stuff of Cas’ and got out, putting the bench back in the tub where he’d found it.

He went and sat on the couch next to where Castiel was watching TV. It was a documentary about bees.

Dean didn’t get to watch TV very often, but now that he could, he didn’t want to watch something about bees. 

“Uh, Cas? Can I change the channel?”

Castiel looked at him. “You don’t like bees?”

Dean didn’t know what to say. “I mean… I don’t  _ dis _ like them, I guess… I just never thought about bees that much.”

Much to his surprise, Castiel launched into an impassioned lecture about bees, their importance in pollinating plants, thus giving us our food. “Not to mention, they give us honey.”

Dean listened to every word, but when honey was mentioned, Castiel lost him.

“Never had it.”

The look on Castiel’s face was total astonishment.

“You’ve never had honey?”

Dean shook his head. ”Nope. Just never had the opportunity, I guess.”

Castiel jumped up. “I have to remedy that. I’ll make some biscuits for dinner, and we’ll have honey on them, you’ll see.”

At dinner, Castiel made a believer out of Dean. 


	7. Chapter 7

Castiel woke up the next morning feeling good. He hadn’t had a nightmare, which allowed him to get a good night’s sleep. He got up and dressed, walking out to start a pot of coffee.

He stopped to look at Dean, peacefully asleep on the couch. 

Dean looked so young when he was asleep, even though Castiel was sure Dean was just a couple of years younger than he was. He suppressed the urge to smooth a stray lock of hair from Dean’s forehead.

While he waited for the coffee, he leaned against the counter. He thought back to the nightmare when Dean had helped him. Dean smelled so good, it filled his senses even now, remembering. Dean smelled like new mown grass with a heady addition of apples freshly sliced and very juicy. He knew he wanted to smell that again.

But he would never take advantage of Dean like that. If Dean allowed him to scent him, it would just be out of a sense of obligation, and Castiel would never, ever put the omega in that position. Castiel had assured him there would be nothing sexual about this arrangement, and he was going to live by that.

Didn’t mean he couldn’t wish… or dream.

He took his coffee with him and went to take a shower. When he got out and dressed, Dean was still asleep, so he started breakfast. He decided on eggs, bacon and toast… with honey.

While he was cooking, Dean wandered in. His hair was sticking up, and Castiel wanted to run a hand through it but of course, didn’t. 

Dean got himself a cup of coffee and sat at the island watching Castiel. 

“Uh, Cas? Can I ask you something?”

Castiel turned with a smile. “You can ask me anything.”

“I was wondering, uh,” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, “Can I get some of my money today?”

Castiel grabbed two plates. “Of course, Dean, how much do you need?”

“I guess… a hundred? Better make it a hundred and ten.” 

Castiel put food on the plates, carrying them to the table. 

“That seems like a very specific amount, Dean.”

Dean grabbed his fork. “Look, it’s not for me, okay? It’s for my little brother. He’s in college and I try to send him at least a hundred a week. He’s got expenses, you know?”

Castiel looked shocked. “Dean! I had no idea. You send your brother four hundred dollars a month? And try to live on a hundred or less a month? No wonder…” He trailed off.

“No wonder I live in my car? Well, it’s worth it. Sammy is gonna make something of himself.”

Castiel frowned. “Does your brother know?”

Dean snapped, “Hell no, he doesn’t know! Think I want him to know his big brother is a street whore?”

Cas held up a hand. “No, no of course not. That’s not what I meant. But you aren’t… selling yourself anymore. And I need to pay you more.”

Dean looked up sharply, surprised at the look of determination on Cas’ face.

“What? No. That’s not what I meant.”

“You can’t be expected to live on just a hundred dollars a month, Dean.”

Dean chuckled mirthlessly. “Why not? I’ve got everything I need here. A roof over my head, a place to sleep. Food… I don’t need anything else, Cas.”

Cas frowned. “Nevertheless, Dean, I’m going to give you fifty extra a month.”

Dean could see there was no arguing with him. 

After breakfast, Dean called his brother to tell him money was coming. They chatted for a few minutes, and Cas went to his room to give them privacy. When Dean tapped on the door to tell him he was done, they decided to go grocery shopping with a stop at Western Union to wire Sam the money.

With a quick stop at the bank so Castiel could withdraw money, the stop at Western Union taken care of, they stopped at a grocery store. Dean grabbed a cart and followed Cas inside.

They were walking up and down the aisles when a voice stopped Dean in his tracks.

“Well, if isn’t Dean Winchester. Where have you been hiding, whore? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” 

Dean turned to look at Crowley. He glanced quickly down the aisle to make sure Cas wasn’t close enough to hear.

“What do you want, Crowley?”

Crowley chuckled. “What do you think I want? Where have you been hiding? Not even your regulars have seen you lately.”

Dean looked around, hoping no one could hear him.

“I’m not doing that anymore. Leave me alone/”

Crowley grinned. “So, got yourself a sugar daddy, do you? Does he know just how used your hole is?”

Dean was considering whether to leave or hit Crowley, when a growl came from behind him.

“Get away from him.” Castiel looked murderous.

Crowley grinned. “Is this your sugar daddy?” He turned to Castiel. “Do you know what he is?”

Castiel growled again, and lifted his cane to push it against Crowley’s chest.

“I said, get away.  _ Now _ .”

Crowley looked down at the cane, then back at Castiel.

“Okay, okay, no need to get rowdy.”

As he was walking away, he turned to Dean. “See you around, whore.”

He left before Castiel could react.

Dean turned to Cas. “Look, I’m sorry, alright? But I think you’re gonna have to get used to shit like that as long as you are seen in public with me. I’ll just go wait in the car.”

He turned to leave, but Castiel put a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Dean, I don’t care about that asshole. Come on, let’s finish our shopping.”

Dean pushed the cart along, trailing after Cas. He didn’t know what to think or what he was feeling.

Never before in his entire life had an Alpha ever stood up for him. Certainly not his old man... literally no one. He was confused about why Cas would. Why was Cas being so nice to him? He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve anything nice. He was just a used up whore, just like his father predicted he’d be. He’d never done anything worthwhile in his life, except for taking care of Sam. 

And now, Sam was gone too. Off to college to make something of himself. Dean knew he’d never see his little brother again. Not that he wanted to, not like this.

So he followed Cas around the store, keeping one eye out for any of his johns. Thankfully, he didn’t see any.

He realized it was the twelfth of the month. He waited until Castiel was in the bathroom, and called Gordon.

“Yeah, it’s Dean. You’re gonna have to find some other omega to piss on. I won’t be coming.”

He listened to Gordon pitch a fit. 

“Yeah, well, live with it, old man.”

He hung up and went back to watching TV. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's the deal. I'm moving from Texas to Arizona. The move was planned for the first week of August. BUT, it got moved up to next week.   
> So, you are going to get the rest of the story now. I hope you don't mind.   
> But I wasn't about to leave my wonderful readers hanging while I pack and move, so, Read and enjoy.  
> And please don't forget to leave me some comments!

Things were going well. It had been three weeks, and Castiel still seemed to want him there. There had only been a couple of nightmares, and scenting Dean seemed to calm Castiel completely. Dean kind of liked it when Cas scented him. He felt good in Cas’ arms, and Cas’ scent was the reason for all the masturbating Dean was doing in the shower.

Dean tried his best not to think about it. This was the longest he’d gone without having sex since he presented, and it was getting to him.

It didn’t help that Cas was drop dead gorgeous. He was by far the best looking man Dean had ever seen. Dean had taken to staring at Cas when he knew Cas wasn't looking. His favorite time of day was in the morning, when Cas wandered out of his bedroom. His sleep pants rode low on his hips, which looked sharp enough to cut yourself on. His hair would be sticking up, wild, in a way that made it look like he’d just had sex. Dean longed to run his hands through it.

But Dean knew that Cas didn’t want him like that. The guy was nice, polite and caring, but he never looked at Dean with any desire. Dean knew Cas thought of him as a whore he’d made a project of. Well, that and to help him with his PTSD.

He’d taken Cas to the PTSD meetings, but never went in. He didn’t know what Cas had told them about him. They went home after, instead of going to the bar.

Dean was sure it was because Cas didn’t want to be seen in public with him.

Castiel was struggling. He was so attracted to Dean, it hurt sometimes. But he knew he couldn’t act on his feelings. Dean had been through so much, and even if he did reciprocate, it would only be out of a sense of obligation. Castiel couldn't face that. 

So he stared at Dean when he knew Dean wasn't looking. He dreamed about him. He could smell Dean’s scent in his nose all the time. It was torture.

He told the group about their arrangement, and they weren’t too judgemental. He didn’t tell them about his attraction. That was a completely different thing.

He didn’t go to the bar with them anymore, not wanting Dean to be exposed to seeing any of his former clients. Castiel had seen how upset and embarrassed the confrontation with Crowley made Dean, and he didn’t want him to have to go through that again.

Dean was outside, washing his car, when it hit. Castiel doubled over, his stomach cramping. He was going into rut. He grabbed his wallet, pulling out money and went to the kitchen door to call Dean.

Dean looked up at Cas, then threw down the hose and walked to him. Dean was alarmed at how sweaty Cas was.

“Dean, here.” Castiel held out the money. “Take this and get a motel room. I need you to leave for a few days.”

Dean looked at the money, then back at Cas. “Cas? What’s wrong…”

And then he smelled it. Cas was going into his rut.

“Cas… I can help. Don’t need a motel room. Let me help.”

“NO! No, just go, please. Come back in five days.”

Dean took the money. Of course Cas didn’t want him. He’d rather go through his rut alone than let Dean into his bed. 

Castiel went back inside, closing the door firmly behind him. Dean stood looking at the door for a couple of moments, then sighed. He finished rinsing Baby off, got in and drove away.

Castiel stripped off his shirt as he headed to the bedroom. Once there, he got a box off the shelf in the closet. He pulled out the rut toy with a sigh.

It was rubber, shaped to resemble an ass. There was a hole in it. He hated the thing, but it had gotten him through many ruts. He stripped and carried the thing to the bed.

He found his bottle of synthetic slick and put it next to the toy, then walked to the kitchen to get bottles of water and some power bars, slowly walking back. 

Sending Dean away was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He ached for his omega, even though he knew Dean wasn’t his. 

Dean drove to a motel and checked in. He paid for five days, then went to the room. He fell on the bed with a sigh. 

The fact that Cas was in rut and still didn’t want him was devastating. It felt worse than when he’d presented and his dad had beat him, yelling that he was worthless. He got up and walked to a liquor store, coming back with a fifth of whiskey. He proceeded to get as drunk as possible, then passing out.

He woke up with a raging hangover. Sitting up on the side of the bed was torture. He thought about Cas, took a swig of the whiskey he had left, and cried.

After a bit, he stopped and angrily wiped his face. He wasn’t going to be some simpering omega who fell apart when some Alpha rejected him. He got up, showered, dressed and headed to a diner for some food. While he waited for his food, he tried not to think about Cas. Instead, he tried to figure out what he was gonna do for the next five days.

Well, there was one thing he could do. One thing he was good at. Cas may not want him, but somebody would, if only for the night. He finished his meal and headed back to the motel to rest up for a long night.

Castiel laid there, waiting for his knot to go down. This was the part he really hated about using the rut toy. He could knot it, but then it was just waiting to get unstuck from a glob of rubber. He missed Dean so much. He’d tried to imagine he was fucking Dean, but it was impossible.

He knew he was right to send Dean away. Of course Dean would have stayed, but Castiel didn’t want to let him, knowing Dean would only do it out of a feeling of obligation. Castiel was broken, in so many ways. There was no way a man like Dean would ever be attracted to him. As if in response, his leg began to hurt.

Dean got ready for the night, eating dinner then heading to a bar. When he got there, he looked around for some Alpha sitting by himself, preferably looking lonely. When he spotted a likely looking candidate, he got a beer and wandered over.

“Hey there, mind if I join you?”

The Alpha looked up, and his face turned to pure lust in a heartbeat.

“Well yeah, sit down! I guess my night just got a lot better.”

An hour later, they were walking into a motel room. Dean didn’t tell the guy, whose name was Mike, that he had a room. The second the door was closed, Mike was on him.

Dean wanted to slow down, but there was no slowing Mike. He had barely slicked at all when Mike flipped him on his hands and knees and shoved in him.

Dean felt nauseous. He swallowed several times, trying not to throw up. Far from the sexual encounter he was hoping would make him forget about Cas, this was a nightmare. He wanted to yell for Mike to stop, but he knew that wouldn’t go over well. So he just squeezed his eyes shut and waited for it to be over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably going to be my last story until I post my SPN Canon Bang story on August 11. See you all then!


	9. Chapter 9

The moment Mike’s knot went down, Dean was up and gathering his clothes.

“Where you goin’? I’m up for another round.”

Dean shook his head. “Thanks, but I gotta get going.”

He dressed and left as quickly as he could. He walked back to the bar, feeling awful.

There was nothing really wrong with Mike. He wasn’t any worse than most of Dean’s johns. But he had one glaring problem… he wasn’t Cas.

Dean swore under his breath all the way back to his car.

_‘God damn Cas and his god damned raspberry scent, fuck his sex hair, his hips... and fuck his blue eyes… fuck him.’_

Dean got in his car and beat his hands against the steering wheel.

“God _damn_ it!”

He started the car and drove straight to Cas’ house. 

He used his key, but then he got inside, the scent of an Alpha in rut hit him squarely in the face. He whimpered a little, then shook himself, pulling his shirt up to cover his nose, and went to look for Cas.

He found Cas in bed, looking like death warmed over. He was laying in a bed that smelled awful, oblivious to Dean.

When he walked in, he fully intended to tell Cas off and quit. But seeing him like this kicked his omega genes into overdrive. He couldn’t leave the guy like this.

He walked to the bed, shaking Cas. 

“Cas? Come on, you need a shower.”

Castiel opened his eyes to look at Dean. 

“Dean? Wha… what are you doing here?”

Dean snorted to clear his nose. “Saving your sorry ass, that’s what. Now get up, let me help you to the shower.”

Castiel did as he was told, leaning heavily on Dean. Dean got him on the shower chair and turned the water on, then left him there to go and change the sheets. He gagged at the smell, holding his breath until he got them in the washer, and grabbed clean sheets to remake the bed. He turned his nose up at the rubber toy, shoving it under the bed. 

Cas hobbled out of the bathroom, still dripping water, with a towel around his waist. He stood at the bedroom door.

“Dean, you can’t be here.”

Dean turned to face him. “And yet, here I am.” 

He looked Cas up and down.

“Jesus, Cas, have you eaten since I left?”

Cas looked sheepish. “I had a power bar.”

“Fuck. Get back in bed. I’m going to fix something.”

Cas walked past him and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Dean…”

“Just shut up, Cas.”

Dean walked to the kitchen, got a glass of water and took it to Cas.

“Here, drink this. I’ll be back in a few.”

Cas tossed the towel into the corner, getting in bed and covering with the sheet.

Dean heated up some soup and took the bowl to the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and held it and a spoon out to Cas.

Cas took it and ate a spoonful. He sat back with a sigh.

“Dean…”

“Look, Cas, I ain’t leaving. You’re in no shape to make me. Jesus fuck, if you keep this up, not eating or drinking water, you’ll die. And that rubber thing? It’s _disgusting._ I know you don’t want me, I get that. I know I’m just a street whore that you took pity on, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you get through this. Just let me help, and then I’ll go.”

Dean bit the inside of his mouth to keep from crying.

Cas was so shocked, it took him a minute to say anything. He watched a single tear fall from Dean’s eye and roll down his cheek.

“Dean, is that what you think? That I took _pity_ on you?”

Dean angrily wiped away the wetness from his cheek, nodding.

Cas reached out a hand and put it on Dean’s arm.

“Oh my beautiful Dean, nothing could be further from the truth! I want you. I want you so badly it hurts. But I don’t want you to feel obligated to me. I didn’t let you stay because it would have only been because you think you owe me. You don’t owe me anything.”

It was Dean’s turn to be shocked.

“Cas, I don’t think I owe you anything. Well, yeah I do, but not this! I wanted to stay with you because I… well, because I really like you.”

Cas sat the empty bowl on the bedside table.

“I really like you too, Dean. But… you can’t stay.”

Dean’s mouth fell open.

“What? Why?”

“Hormones. Dean, I’m in rut. My body is raging with hormones, which affect you. The house is filled with the scent of the two of us. When, and I do mean when, we take that plunge, I don’t want it to be because of our hormones. You have to leave.”

Dean didn’t know whether to cry or yell at Cas. He went with yelling.

“Fuck! You are so full of shit, Cas! You just don’t want me and you’re too chickenshit to tell me to my face! I’ll go. I don’t know if I’ll be back or not. Fuck you.”

Dean stormed out of the room with Cas calling him back.

He left, slamming the door behind him. He drove back to the motel, then threw himself on the bed.

“Fuck! Fuck him. I don’t need him!”

Except he kinda did. If he was ever going to get off the street and still take care of Sammy, he needed Cas’ money. If he ever wanted to not have to sleep in his car, he needed Cas. Cas gave him a safe place to live, regular meals and the money to support his brother. In spite of the sting of rejection, he’d have to go back.

He was so fucked.

It did sting, though. He knew Cas didn’t want him, no matter what he’d said. No Alpha in rut was going to reject an omega willing to go ass up for him. He knew Cas was lying to him. But fuck him. He’d go back and just be the _companion_ Cas wanted him to be. Just someone to scent when he was having a nightmare, a chauffeur and nothing else. He’d take Cas’ money, sleep on his couch, and get his kicks elsewhere.

He felt better after that. He got up, took a shower and went to the diner to eat. He went back to the room after that, watching TV and drinking whiskey in the dark.

Castiel was unhappy with how Dean had left. He knew he’d messed things up, but he had no idea how to make it better. It was just like Dean to offer himself to help, but Castiel didn’t want that. He wanted Dean to want him when he wasn’t in rut. 

With a sad sigh, he dug out his rut toy from under the bed. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has another flashback nightmare. If that bothers you, just skip the part that is in italics.

Dean stayed in the room except to grab something to eat or buy more booze. But the day before he was going back to Cas’, he realized he needed a refill of his heat suppressants.

Dean had been on suppressants for years. It wasn’t a good idea for an omega hooker to go into heat. It put him at risk to be raped. 

Not only would it put him out of commission for a week, but it was when an omega was fertile. The last thing he needed was to get knocked up.

He called the pharmacy for a refill, then went to pick it up after a couple of hours. He was standing at the counter when the pharmacist walked up to him.

“Mr. Winchester? I’m sorry but the doctor won’t give you a refill.”

Dean felt like he’d been kicked in the family jewels. “What? There must be some mistake.”

The pharmacist shook his head. “There’s no mistake. She says to come into her office so she can speak with you about this.”

Dean drove to Dr. Barnes office. He waited for a bit, then was ushered into her private office.

“Pam, what’s this about? I need those suppressants.”

Pam looked sympathetic. “Dean, you’ve been taking them too long. Your body needs to go into heat occasionally.”

Dean shook his head.”What? No, I can’t do that!”

Pam walked around and sat in the chair next to Dean. She put a hand on his arm.

“Look, babe, I know this is a problem for you. But you’ve already been on them a year longer than I’m comfortable with. These things are hard on your body. Not only do they screw with your hormones, they can cause liver damage, high blood pressure… They leave you susceptible to a heart attack or a stroke… so no, I’m not going to give you any until you go through three heat cycles.”

Dean felt like he was going to pass out. He ran a hand over his face, and said weakly, “Three?”

Pam patted his arm. “At least. And fair warning, the first one is going to be hard.”

“Can’t I just take my chances?”

Pam shook her head. “No, Dean. If you need me, call me. Otherwise, I’ll see you in a few months.”

Dean left the office like a man walking to his execution. He stopped on the way back to the motel to get a bottle of whiskey and proceeded to get blind drunk.

He woke up - well, maybe  _ came to _ was more accurate - on the morning of the fifth day he’d been in the motel. He packed up his stuff, took a few painkillers and headed back to Cas’ place.

He used his key to let himself in. 

“Cas? It’s me, I’m back.”

Castiel walked out of the bedroom, leaning heavily on his cane, He looked like shit warmed over. His face was screwed up in obvious pain, he’d lost weight and his face was pale.

“Dean. I didn’t think you’d come back.”

“Yeah well, I almost didn’t. Man, you look like shit. Let me get my things put away and I’ll fix us some lunch.”

Cas looked at him like he’d hung the moon.

Dean snorted. “Shut up. Go sit before you fall down.”

“I’m just happy to see you.” Cas took a seat on the couch.

Dean sorted through his clothes, grabbing some that needed to be washed. He stuck his head into the bedroom on his way to the washer. Cas had changed the sheets, and stowed the rut toy. There was nothing to suggest Cas had ever been in rut. Even the air smelled fresh.

After he got a load of wash going, he fixed some grilled cheese sandwiches. They sat down at the table to eat. 

“Dean, I feel terrible about our…”

“Stow it, Cas. Nothing to discuss. Eat your damn sandwich.”

Cas sighed but took a bite. They didn’t talk all through lunch. Cas finished, getting up with a grimace.

“You need to exercise that leg, Cas. Give me a minute and we’ll take a walk.”

“You don’t need to come along with me, Dean.”

Dean scoffed, “You look like you’d fall down in a breeze. Just wait ‘til I get these plates washed.”

Dean was done in just a few minutes, then they went out for a walk.

“See? Let the sun shine on ya, get some color back in those cheeks.”

Cas sighed. “Dean, we need to talk.”

Dean shook his head. “No, we don’t.”

Cas persisted. “Dean, I want to explain myself…”

Dean stopped to look at him. 

“Damn it, I said I didn’t want to talk, Cas! There is nothing to discuss.”

He walked away, leaving a dejected Cas standing on the sidewalk. Cas caught up with him to continue their walk in silence.

When they got back to the house, Dean went to the bathroom and opened his bottle of heat suppressants. There were just three left. He took one with a sigh. This was going to be a mess. He’d have to go back to the motel, which meant telling Cas  _ why _ he had to go. He wasn’t looking forward to that at all.

He grabbed a beer and plopped down on the couch to catch up on his soaps.

When Dean showed up, Castiel was overjoyed, but the joy was short-lived. Dean was even more angry and distant than usual. Castiel was sure he’d blown it completely, but also knew it was the right thing to do… sending Dean away. He just didn’t want them to get hormone-addled. He wanted Dean to want him, but not that way.

So he kept to himself, retreating to his room for most of the day. They had dinner, then Cas took a book to his room to read.

_ The jungle was burning, everywhere he looked there was fire. The planes were dropping napalm on the village. People were screaming, running for their lives. A little girl was crying, she was badly burned…  _

_ There was gun fire, he fell down behind a tree, firing his own gun at some unseen assailant. He felt bile in his mouth. He knew he was going to die. _

_ It was too hot, he could feel the heat from the fire licking at him. He was screaming… _

“Cas! Cas, damn it! Wake up!” Dean shook him, desperate for Cas to wake up. This was the worst nightmare yet, and Cas looked terrified.

Dean shook him again, then pulled him up to a sitting position and shoved Cas’ head to his scent gland. He wrapped one hand around the back of Cas’ head, the other was at the small of Cas’ back. Cas was struggling to get away.

“Smell me, Cas. Just take a whiff. Come on, baby. Just scent me.”


	11. Chapter 11

Cas struggled against him, trying to push him away, but Dean held steady. After a few minutes, Cas finally took a deep breath and started to calm. 

“That’s right, sniff me. Smell me. You’re safe with me. Come on, baby, sniff.”

Dean wasn’t aware he was calling Cas ‘baby.’

Cas relaxed against him, breathing deeply. He put his arms around Dean to hold him even closer. He started to cry, which broke Dean’s heart a little.

“That’s it, Cas, cry it out. You’re safe.”

Cas clung to him until he was just sniffling and hiccuping a little.

He lifted his head to look at Dean. “I… I got you all wet.”

Dean laughed. “That’s fine, Cas. it’ll dry.”

Cas sat back as Dean brushed a sweaty lock of hair from Cas’ forehead.

“You need a shower. I’ll start a pot of coffee and change the sheets.”

Cas looked stricken. “Dean, you take such good care of me. I don’t deserve it.”

“Shut up, Cas, of course you deserve it. What are you talking about?”

Cas sighed deeply. “I’m a terrible Alpha. I’m weak, I’m damaged and broken… and disabled. I’ll never be what an Alpha is supposed to be.”

Dean turned to look at him.

“You don’t  _ want _ to be what an Alpha is supposed to be, Cas. Alphas suck. They’re mean, they think every omega is fair game for their knot… they think they’re fucking  _ entitled. _ They suck, Cas. You don’t want to be one of them.”

Cas listened, then smiled at Dean.

“Thank you. That made me feel a little better.”

Dean snorted. “Good. Now go shower, you stink.” He got up and went to the kitchen.

Cas sighed again, but grabbed some clothes and his cane, and headed to the shower. When he got out, he dressed and went to the kitchen.

It was still dark out. Cas felt guilty for Dean not getting a full night’s sleep. Again. 

Dean held out a cup of coffee to him, which he gratefully took. He sat at the table, sipping the dark goodness. 

Dean took a sip of his coffee, staring at Cas.

“Cas, you know… You could talk to me, you know... about what happened to you… over there.”

Cas sat his cup down, looking back at Dean.

“You don’t want to hear about that.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re right about that, but still… if you ever want to talk, I’ll listen.”

Cas smiled sadly. “Thank you, Dean. I’ll keep that in mind. Anyway, you probably need to get more sleep.”

Dean slapped his hands on the table and got up. 

“Nah, I’m okay. I’ll fix us some breakfast.”

Cas drank his coffee, watching Dean move around the kitchen. The sight made him smile. 

As the day wore on, Dean’s mood got dark. He was fidgety, having trouble just sitting to watch TV, his leg bouncing, or getting up to pace.

At first Cas just thought Dean was tired, but the longer it went on, the more convinced Cas became that something was bothering Dean.

“Dean? Can we talk?”

Dean sighed. “I guess.” He sat down on the couch, so Cas sat at the other end.

“What’s bothering you?”

Dean frowned. “Nothing. Nothing is bothering me.”

“I don’t believe you, Dean. It’s obvious something is wrong. You can talk to me.”

Dean jumped up. “I said it was nothing! Don’t crawl up my ass, Cas!”

He stormed out of the room.

Cas sat there, feeling defeated. No matter how close he felt they were getting to being friends, Dean always seemed to pull back. Castiel knew Dean had walls built up around himself, but every once in a while, Castiel got a peek at the man inside those walls, and he really liked what he saw.

He just wished Dean would let him in. He listened to Dean doing something in the kitchen, sitting on the couch with a sigh. He thought about something that had occurred to him a day or so ago.

He felt guilty about Dean having to sleep on the couch. He didn’t have another bedroom, but he could get a sofa bed. That would be better for Dean. He decided they should go shopping for one today.

He walked to the kitchen where Dean was sitting with another cup of coffee.

“Dean? I want to go shopping today. I need you to drive me.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, Cas.”

Dean parked in front of the furniture store where Cas directed him to. When they got out, Dean looked confused.

“What do you need in a furniture store?”

Cas just smiled. “Come on, you’ll see.”

They went inside, where a beta in a suit walked up.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I do for you today?”   
Cas smiled at him. “We’d like to see your most comfortable sofa bed.”

Dean looked at him, shocked. Cas just smiled back at him.

Forty-five minutes later, Cas had made arrangements for the new couch to be delivered and the old one removed. 

As they left the store, Dean said for the third time, “Cas, you didn’t have to do that.”

Cas stopped to look at him. “I did, Dean, I told you. The least you deserve is a bed.”

The next stop was at a department store for sheets, pillows and a couple of warm blankets. Dean continued to protest, but Cas had his mind made up.

After dinner they pulled out and made up the bed, and Dean flopped down on it with a satisfied sigh.

Cas stood next to it with a smile. “Comfy?”

Dean grinned up at him. “Fuck yeah! Lay down, check it out.”

Cas laid down next to him.

“Well, it is comfortable.”

Dean rolled on his side to look at Cas. “Thanks, man. You…”

Cas cut him off. ”If you say I didn’t need to one more time, I’ll punch you in the nose.”

Dean laughed and held up a hand of surrender. “Okay, okay. I’ll just say thanks then.”

Cas looked in those green eyes. “You are very welcome.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, then Dean looked away, clearing his throat.

“We could, uh, watch some TV.”

Cas nodded. “Well, yes, I suppose we could.”

Dean grabbed the remote off a side table, switching the TV on. They found a show that looked interesting. Cas settled back against the pillow.

The next thing he knew, Dean was yelling, “Get off me!”

His eyes flew open. He’d fallen asleep, and so had Dean. And Dean was having a nightmare.

Cas didn’t know what to do. He’d called Dean’s name a couple of times, but Dean didn’t wake up. Feeling a little frantic, he did what Dean did when Cas was having a nightmare. He pulled Dean to scent him.

He shoved Dean’s face into his neck and held him there.

“Scent me, Dean. Just smell me.”

Dean struggled for a moment, then he took a deep breath. He immediately settled.

Cas held him, telling him to sniff, and feeling his cock harden. 


	12. Chapter 12

_ Dean wanted to fight him off, but he was too big, too strong. He was just a kid, he didn’t know what was happening. Why had his dad told him to go with the Alpha… to do whatever he wanted Dean to do?  _

_ He struggled against the man, even as he was shoving Dean’s face into the pillow and pulling Dean’s ass in the air… _

_ “No! Get off me!”  _

Dean scented the Alpha. It was so calming, so good… he knew he was safe. That this Alpha would protect him. He grabbed a fist full of shirt and sniffed deeply…

He woke up with his face in Cas’ neck, scenting at the gland. Cas had one hand between his shoulder blades, the other was holding the back of his head gently. 

Cas smelled so good! Dean took another whiff, then loosened the hold he had on Cas’ shirt.

He lifted his head reluctantly, to look at Cas. Cas was looking at him with a worried expression.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

Dean sat back, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah, I am. Thanks, Cas.”

He glanced down to Cas’ lips. Cas had his bottom lip captured in his teeth. Dean looked back to Cas’ eyes, almost getting lost in how blue they were.

“What were you dreaming about, Dean?”

Dean looked away. “Nothing.”

Cas used a stern tone. “Dean.”

Dean looked back at him. “It was… about something that happened to me when I was sixteen, had just presented.”

“Someone hurt you.” It was a statement not a question.

Dean nodded. Cas waited.

“I had just gotten through my first heat. My dad… he was disgusted that I turned out to be an omega. Said I was only a hole for a knot. He… gave me to an Alpha he owed money to.”

Cas growled low and menacing. “I’ll kill him.”

Dean chuckled mirthlessly. “I’d let you, but my dad is already dead.”

“His name was Zachariah. My dad owed him some money from a bet he lost. He agreed to forget about the money if he could have me for a week. My dad was more than happy to make that happen.”

Cas’ hands were balled into fists so tightly, he had to consciously relax them. 

“He was old, fat, bald. His breath stank. I couldn’t fight him off…”

Cas reached out and pulled Dean into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Dean.”

Dean took a shuddering breath and pulled away.

“It was years ago. I used to dream about it a lot, but not too much lately.”

“Dean, again, I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

They were staring into each other’s eyes. Their faces moved closer to one another. Cas thought about how easy it would be to close that gap and kiss Dean…

Dean broke the eye fuck and pulled back. 

“Sorry that I woke you up that way.”

Cas snorted. “I’ve woken you up that way several times.”

Dean looked uncomfortable.

“Uh, I guess we fell asleep watching TV. You probably want to go to bed.”

Cas suppressed a sigh. “You probably want to get back to sleep too. I’ll… uh, go…”

He got up and walked to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Dean sat back and ran a hand over his face.

_ Holy crap, that was close! _

He almost kissed Cas. He wanted to kiss Cas! What the fuck was going on with him? He needed to dial it back a thousand. He was attracted to Cas, sure, but nothing could come of it. He was just a whore, not someone Cas would actually want. It was just a moment of weakness, nothing more.

  
Castiel stripped to his boxers, falling on the bed with a sigh. He came so close to kissing Dean, he was mortified. He knew Dean didn’t feel that way about him. Again, if Dean let anything happen, it would only come out of a sense of obligation. Castiel didn’t want that.

Being around Dean was a physical ache in him. He rubbed his leg, thinking about either getting drunk or taking a pill. In the end, he didn't do either.

Castiel decided to go to the support group that week. Dean drove him, saying he’d be back to pick him up in a couple of hours.

Castiel walked into a chorus of hellos from the other men, and a hug from Donna. He sat down.

“Haven’t seen you in what? Three weeks or more.” She smiled at him but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Castiel looked sheepish. “Well, yeah. I was in rut for a week, and then…” he just trailed off.

“Any nightmares?”

Every eye was on him.

“A couple, yes.”

Ash cocked his head. “Even with an omega in your bed?”

Castiel sighed. “We don’t sleep together.”

Bobby snorted. “You been with him for a couple of months and you ain’t got him in your bed? What’cha waiting for, ya idjit?”

Castiel bristled up. “I don’t want him to feel obligated to sleep with me.”

Rufus snorted at that.

Donna looked sympathetic. “What is the problem, Castiel?”

Castiel had no intention of discussing Dean in any detail with the group.

“Let’s change the subject please.”

The rest of the meeting was spent with Bobby bitching about Rufus and Rufus bitching about Bobby, Ash bitching about the VA and Donna trying to put a positive spin on everything.

Castiel grabbed his cane and walked out. Dean was parked near the entrance. Cas got in.

“Good meeting?”

Cas shook his head. “Not even in the slightest.”

Dean wondered if Cas was going to elaborate, but when he didn’t, Dean started the car and drove them home.

When Cas walked in, he headed straight for the whiskey. He poured himself three fingers worth, then held the bottle out at Dean.

Dean nodded, so Cas poured him some as well.

They sat on the couch, nursing the whiskey and not speaking.

Dean finished his.

“Another?”

Cas nodded and handed Dean his glass.

Dean poured more into each glass and carried them back to the couch. Cas accepted his glass with a nod.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Cas sighed. “They keep making assumptions. It’s aggravating.”

Dean took a sip. “About what? Us?”

Cas looked at him, clearly surprised.

“What makes you ask that?”

Dean took another sip. 

“It’s just logical. An Alpha and an omega living together. I bet they think we’re… uh..,”

Cas nodded. “They think we’re sleeping together.”

Dean stared at him for a minute. 

“What did you say?”

Cas took a deep breath. “I told them it was none of their business. It’s between you and me and no one else.”

Dean nodded. “Good answer.”


	13. Chapter 13

Dean did a lot of thinking that night. Cas had gotten pretty drunk and staggered to bed a couple of hours ago, but Dean couldn’t sleep.

He wondered, and not for the first time, exactly what had happened to Cas in Vietnam. He sat and thought about it until he had a plan, then went to sleep.

The next day, he told Cas he had some running around to do. He got in the car and drove to the Veterans Center. He went in and asked to speak to Donna Hanscum.

Donna invited him into her office, where they sat across from one another.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Winchester?”

Dean fidgeted a little. “Well, I live with Cas Novak…”

Donna grinned at him. “Oh I know, honey.”

Dean looked at her. “Okay… well, uh, he’s a good man, you know? I feel like if I knew more about what happened to him, I could, I don’t know… help him more.”

Donna’s eyes sparkled. “You like him.,”

Dean shrugged. “Well, yeah.”

She smiled. “He likes you too.”

Dean’s ears got red.

“Anyway, I guess I can tell you about him. You are his companion, after all.”

Dean leaned forward. 

Donna sighed. “He was taking a platoon into a village to question the elders about their involvement with the Viet Cong. There was a mix up and planes dropped napalm on the village by mistake.”

Dean winced.

“It was chaos as you can imagine. People burned… some of his men burned… women and children…” She paused, then took a deep breath.

“Anyway, he was leading the rest of his platoon to safety, when the man in front of him stepped on a land mine. The shrapnel is what injured Castiel’s leg. The doctors wanted to amputate but Castiel wouldn’t let them. He was in the hospital for months, followed by months of rehab. He’s had a very hard time.”

Dean felt like crying.

“But why wouldn’t he tell me about this?”

Donna sighed. “Oh honey, practically no vets want to talk about what happened over there. It doesn’t help that there are demonstrators against the war who call them ‘baby killers’ and worse to their faces, spit on them… it’s a huge problem.”

Dean sat back with a sigh. 

“Thanks for telling me. I just wish there was more I could do for him.”

Donna hesitated, then said. “You could consider sleeping with him.”

Dean’s face morphed into shock.

Donna held up a hand. “You misunderstand. I don’t mean have sex with Castiel, just sleep in the same bed. There are a lot of studies that show how sleeping with an omega can soothe the Alpha, lessen bad dreams. In some cases, the nightmares stop completely.”

Dean smiled at her. “Thank you, Ms. Hanscum. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

They exchanged pleasantries and shook hands, and Dean left.

Dean drove around, thinking, before he went home.

It was late afternoon when he got back. Cas was reading. He looked up and smiled when he saw Dean.

“Get everything done?”

Dean nodded, sitting on the couch.

“Yeah, I did. I should start dinner.”

He went to the kitchen to look around for something to fix, Cas went back to his book.

They ate dinner, watched some TV, and then Cas yawned.

“I guess I’ll go to bed.”

“Yeah, get some sleep. See you in the morning.” Dean acted very nonchalant. 

He waited for an hour, making sure Cas was asleep. Then he stripped to his boxers and crept into Cas’ bedroom. He stood, holding his breath. Cas was snoring lightly.

He tiptoed to the bed. Again he stood, making sure Cas was asleep.

When it was safe, he very slowly pulled back the covers and gently laid down next to Cas. Holding his breath, he covered up.

He lay there, stiff and unmoving, listening to Cas’ snores. Then Cas muttered something in his sleep and rolled over, throwing his arm over Dean.

He froze. He rolled his eyes to look at Cas. Cas looked so relaxed in the half light, it took years off him. Dean could feel the heat radiating off his body. He wanted to touch Cas, but he knew that was dangerous. Cas would wake up and throw him out of the bed. He really didn’t want that.

His intention was to get up early, sneak out of bed and back into his own with Cas none the wiser. He knew he wouldn’t sleep.

The next thing he knew, Cas was saying his name.

“Dean?”

Dean’s eyes flew open.  _ Oh shit… _

He turned to look at Cas. “Uh, good morning?”

“What are you doing here, Dean?” Cas didn’t sound mad, just confused.

“Well, it’s a long story. Let me get up and fix some coffee…”

Cas nodded, tilting his head in that adorable way he had. Dean slowly backed out of the bed, then turned and practically ran out of the bedroom.

When Cas got to the kitchen, Dean was fully dressed and starting a pot of coffee brewing.

Cas sat at the table, waiting and watching Dean closely. When Dean had two cups of coffee for them, he sat at the table across from Cas.

Cas took a sip from his cup and sat it back down.

“So, a long story, huh? I guess you better get to it then.”

Dean sighed. “Well, I went to see Ms. Hanscum yesterday.”

Cas looked shocked. “Donna? What did you go to see her for?”

Dean wouldn't look at him, settling his eyes on his cup instead.

“I wanted to know how to help you more than I have been. I wanted… to know what happened to you.”

“You what? You shouldn’t have done that Dean. You are doing a fine job. I… what did she tell you?”

Dean sighed. Cas was mad. He steeled himself for getting thrown out. 

“She told me what happened to you. She told me about your injury. I was only trying to help.”

Cas sighed, running a hand over his face.

“She shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t blame her. She said she could because I was your… companion.”

Cas sat for a minute, drinking his coffee. 

“I would have thought you’d want out. Sleeping in my bed… is unexpected.”

Dean looked surprised. “Why would I want out? I think you had a rough time. It ain’t your fault.”

Cas sighed again. “It was rough. But I still need to know if sleeping with me is your idea, if you’re comfortable with it? Or is it just because Donna told you that you should.”

“Hey, you know I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I’m completely comfortable with it as long as you are.”

Cas smiled a little. “I’m comfortable with it too.”

Dean got up to refill his coffee cup. 

“Good, then it’s settled.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song quoted is Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkle

The next two nights were weird for both of them. Cas tried to stay on his side, Dean was stiffly laying on the other side. But the third morning, Cas woke up with Dean’s arm thrown over him and his leg over Cas’ leg. Cas laid there, smiling. He put an arm around Dean and waited for him to wake up.

Dean opened his eyes and looked up at Cas. His face immediately fell, and he tried to pull away, muttering an apology. As Cas tightened his grip to hold him in place, his senses were filled with the scent of raspberries and wet earth.

‘It’s fine, Dean. Really.”

Dean blushed red. “Cas, I…”

Cas chuckled. “You aren’t responsible for what you do in your sleep, Dean.”

Dean smiled a little. “Thanks. I’ll get up, start coffee.”

Cas reluctantly let him go.

The next few nights showed clearly that Dean was a cuddler. He was like an octopus in his sleep, spreading himself all over Cas. Cas didn’t mind a bit.

There were no nightmares. 

Then, Dean went into heat in the middle of the night.

Dean was having a weird dream where he was violently ill inside a sauna. It was too hot and he couldn’t stop throwing up.

Cas was shaking him, telling him to wake up. When he opened his eyes, he felt like he was dying.

He looked at Cas. Cas was looking at him with a strange expression.

“Dean, you’re in heat.”

While he was struggling to understand what Cas was saying, a cramp hit him and he groaned. 

Cas wiped Dean’s sweaty forehead, “I’m going to get you some water…”

Dean grabbed him, his fists dug into Cas’ biceps.

“No, no, Cas, don’t leave me. Please… I need you.”

Cas’ pupils flashed red. “Dean… I won’t be able to stop myself.”

Dean clung to him. “I don’t want you to! I need you, Alpha… please…”

Slick gushed out of him. 

Even with Dean’s heat-addled brain hardly functioning, he could see Cas’ nostrils flare and his eyes flash red again.

“Please, Alpha, Cas… need you.”

Cas hesitated a little. “Are you sure, Dean? I could go get you a toy…”

Dean yelled, “I’m sure, god damn it! If you leave this bed, I’ll get up and find me an Alpha who is willing!”

Cas growled. “Oh no you won’t.”

Dean growled back. “Then fuck me.”

Cas kicked off the covers, grabbed Dean to flip him on his stomach. He moved down and used his hands to spread Dean wide. Dean groaned as Cas’ tongue swiped over his leaking hole.

Cas ate his ass like it was Sunday dinner. Dean was whimpering and thrusting his ass back against Cas’ mouth. No matter how much slick Cas licked, there was always a fresh gush for him to enjoy.

But he’d reached his control’s limit. He laid over Dean, pushing into that wet heat. They both moaned.

“Fuck! You’re  _ huge _ !”

Cas pulled back, shoving back in and chuckling, “All the better to fuck you with, omega.”

As he laid over Dean, pulling back and thrusting in, he used one hand to turn Dean’s face. He kissed Dean deeply, exploring Dean’s mouth with his tongue. Dean kissed back with equal passion. 

He rolled a little to his side, pulling Dean with him. He reached over Dean to find Dean’s cock, grabbing it and making a fist. Dean began to thrust into the fist. 

All that could be heard was Dean’s “Uh, uh, uh” with every thrust into him, and Cas’ growling.

Cas’ knot began to grow, popping in and out of Dean’s hole. 

“Knot me, Cas… Alpha… need your knot…”

Cas whispered, “Soon, baby.” He nosed at Dean’s mating gland, sniffing deeply. It was an almost overwhelming urge to bite Dean, mate him, but Cas knew he couldn't. 

Feeling Cas’ knot growing, swelling, Dean pushed his ass back in a desperate attempt, and it caught. Dean’s body clamped down on it.

Cas came with a guttural growl, Dean came yelling. It took them both a few minutes to come back and catch their breath. When they did, Cas rolled them onto their sides to spoon.

Cas kissed the back of Dean’s neck. “Better now?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. That was intense. But then again, I haven’t had a heat in years.”

Cas lifted his head. “Wait… in  _ years _ ?”

Dean sighed. “Yeah. I never wanted to go into heat when I was hooking. Too much chance to get pregnant, and I didn’t want an Alpha to go all native on me and mate me.”

Cas sighed. “That can’t have been very healthy for you, Dean.”

Dean turned his head to look at Cas. “I guess not. My doctor wouldn’t refill my suppressants until I had a few heats.”

Cas tried to smile, but didn’t do a very good job of it. “Well, you need to follow her advice. And uh… speaking of getting pregnant…”

Dean jerked, tugging on the tie. Cas gasped.

“Oh f _ uck _ ! I didn’t think about that! Shit!”

Cas took a deep breath. “Would it really be that terrible, Dean?”

Dean looked at him for a moment.

“What are you talking about, Cas?”

“Dean, I care about you. Deeply. If you get pregnant, I’ll take care of you and the baby, I swear.”

Dean snorted. “Sounds like you want to mate me, Cas.”

“So? Maybe I do.”

Dean shook his head. “You don’t want a whore for a mate.”

Cas growled, which sent a shiver down Dean’s spine.

“You are  _ not _ a whore anymore! You need to stop calling yourself that. It makes me angry.”

Dean got goosebumps, hearing that Cas got angry at him.

“Okay, but be reasonable. If we have a pup, everybody in town will just say the same. Everyone knows I was a… you know.”

“Dean, what do I have to do to convince you I don’t give a fuck what people say? I want you as my mate. I want a pup with you. We can move to a new town if that’s what it takes.”

Den couldn't believe his ears. “You’d do that? For me? You really want me as a mate that much?”

“Sweetheart, I love you. I have for a long time. Of course I would do that. I’d do anything to have you say yes.”

Dean’s throat caught. Tears were streaming down his face. He gulped. Just then, Cas’ knot went down and they came untied. Oblivious to the gush of slick and cum flooding out of him, he turned to face Cas.

Cas took Dean’s face in his hands, running his thumbs over Dean’s cheeks to wipe away the tears. 

“Just say yes, baby.”

Dean nodded. In a quiet voice, he said, “Yes.”

Cas kissed him for all he was worth.

**A year later**

Dean sat in the nursery, rocking Claire in his arms. 

Cas walked in, stopping to take in the sight of his mate and their baby daughter. He walked to Dean, leaning over to kiss him.

“She asleep?”

Dean nodded. He stood up and walked to her crib, slowly putting their daughter in. Cas stood next to him, watching.

Dean made sure the baby monitor was on, then they walked through their home to the porch. They sat on the swing, looking at the stars.

“It’s so beautiful here, Cas. I just love it.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean on his forehead. 

“I’m glad, baby. And the garden is coming along nicely.”

Dean chuckled. “You and your tomato plants.”

Cas laughed. “And you and your flowers. Did you hear from Sam today?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. Jess still hasn’t had that pup yet, but Sam says any day now. And his law practice is going good.”

Cas hummed. 

Dean sighed. “I can’t believe this my life now. The old me? It seems like a bad dream.”

Cas sighed as well. “Me too. But the past is just that… past. We have our whole lives ahead of us now.”

They sat, looking at the stars until it was time to go to bed. They went back inside, hand in hand.

They had saved each other, it was just like the song:

_ When you're weary, feeling small, _

_ When tears are in your eyes _

_ I will dry them all _

_ I'm on your side _

_ Oh when times get rough _

_ And friends just can't be found _

_ Like a bridge over troubled water _

_ I will lay me down _

_ Like a bridge over troubled water _

_ I will lay me down _

_ When you're down and out _

_ When you're on the street _

_ When evening falls so hard _

_ I will comfort you _

_ I'll take your part _

_ Oh when darkness comes _

_ And pain is all around _

_ Like a bridge over troubled water _

_ I will lay me down _

_ Like a bridge over troubled water _

_ I will lay me down _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! I hope you like it.


End file.
